The feeling struck deep and hard, plummeting my mood into darkness, causing my heart to race and my gut to engage in acrobatic flips and somersaults. Triggered by a seemingly unrelated event, I left the world of the present and traveled back in time. My mind recalled a situation, though different in appearance, but similar in response, where I felt my brain switch from a rational, responsive mode to a survival mode characterized by a fight or flight mentality.

In that instance, my physical life was not in danger, but my emotional body was. The threat to my well-being came in the form of a critical boss and her unreasonable demands for perfection.  Once a confident, proud worker, I became skittish and nervous; a state which hindered my work. I perceived the danger of the loss of livelihood. Anxiety was my constant companion.

The impact on my nervous system left a lasting impression. The emotional energy of the experience, which was meant to inform my sympathetic system and flow through it, became hard and solidified.

Today, with that situation 35 years in the past, I marvel at its ability to stay just below the surface of my conscious mind. Far enough down to not be easily detected, but close enough to instantly inform my body and ready it for a fight.

And I wondered – why do negative experiences solidify and remain in our psyche while positive ones seem to fly away in the wind? In my example, why have the positive experiences that I had with five subsequent supervisors not imprinted as strongly as the one bad one?

The answer is rooted in our brain’s wiring, specifically the amygdala. The amygdala is a structure deep inside the brain that plays an important role in processing emotions in response to external sensory stimuli, and evolution has caused it to be particularly sensitive to threats to our survival.

This negativity bias was initially formed to quickly identify physical dangers and propel our bodies into a fight or flight response by bypassing the brain’s rational thought process. The amygdala also plays a role in identifying social threats which may trigger our expulsion from the safety of a tribe or clan.

And this is where the amygdala can go haywire in today’s society.

Most of us are privileged to live in cities and towns where threats to our physical safety are rare. We go for walks in our neighborhoods without concern and trips to the grocery store are not preceded by apprehension or fear for our safety. Even so, the number of adults who express feeling anxiety at some point each day is increasing each year, demonstrating that while external threats are low, our amygdala is responding as if the circumstances were different. Overstimulated by a constant stream of information, and overworked responding to social triggers, work and financial stressors, the amygdala remains in a heightened state of alert, viewing everything as a threat.   

Once the key to our survival, this negativity bias can work against us in the modern world. Viewing everything as a threat results in a fearful and limiting mindset that blocks feelings of hopefulness while stamping out inspiration, stalling action and limiting our opportunities to fulfill our hopes and dreams. Though safe from perceived harm, our potential is diminished.

Take Back Control – Actively Cultivate A Hopeful, Positive Mindset

Although the negativity bias is rooted in the wiring of the amygdala, there are actions that you can take to minimize its impact by consciously shifting your thoughts and resulting behavior.

Be Aware of Your Biases

Before you can shift your biases, you first need to bring them to the surface. This is done through honest self-reflection supported by a non-judgmental, curious approach. Take time to reflect and write down experiences that could have negatively shaped your view of yourself and how safe you feel in the world.

Were you the target of harsh or excessive criticism as a child? Excessive disapproval from authority figures often leads to an adult who is a perfectionist and hard on themselves when they make mistakes. This causes them to avoid new experiences where they could be judged or seen as less than perfect.

As a child were you often told that you were being “too sensitive”? Feedback along these lines could shape a person’s belief that feelings were not valid or worse, wrong, and lead them towards separating from their emotions and developing a tough exterior to keep their softer self safe from judgment.

Can you recall social situations where your younger self experienced exclusion or rejection by your peers? Social rejection triggers the negativity bias because, from an evolutionary standpoint, being ostracized from the clan once meant imminent dangers in the form of wild animals and starvation.

Did you grow up in an environment that felt unsafe? Situations of physical or emotional abuse, financial insecurity, the instability of living with someone who has mental health or substance abuse challenges, and frequent moves are all examples that can lead to a hyper-vigilant mindset that is always on the alert.

As an adult, have you experienced work and relationship traumas? Biases are not just formed in childhood. Experiences as an adult can trigger their formation. A work environment where your ideas and efforts are undervalued or dismissed will lead a person to being less likely to speak up and share insights. Being in a relationship with someone who acts unpredictably leads to behaviors intent on keeping the peace as a way to stay safe.  

Cognitive Reframing: Now that you have become aware of your biases, you can begin to restructure through cognitive reframing. Referring to the process of challenging, and changing, irrational thoughts, this technique is used to shift your mindset so you can look at your experiences from a slightly different, less triggering perspective. While it’s important to acknowledge past pain, reframing negative experiences can reduce their emotional weight, leading to opportunities for healing and growth.

Decatastrophizing

A powerful tool for reframing past negative experiences and regulating the impact of the amygdala on your behavior is decatastrophizing. This technique helps you challenge catastrophic loop thinking. By exploring the realistic consequences of a situation through a series of questions, you can interrupt your brain’s automatic threat response and create space for new ways of thinking, opening the door to new experiences.

Take a look at the negativity biases which you wrote down. For each one, question its validity in your life as it stands now. Ask yourself:

• What am I worried about?
• How likely is it that my worry will come true? Give examples of experiences that support your answer.
• If your worry does come true, what is the worst that could happen?
• If your worry does come true, what is most likely to happen?
• If your worry comes true, what are the chances you’ll be okay?
  • In one week?______%     In one month?_____%

Tools for Keeping Your Negativity Biases in Check

• Consciously Focus on the Positive: Because of evolution, negative experiences imprint themselves deeper in the brain. This is the reason why imprinting positive ones often needs to be a conscious, intentional effort. By shifting towards aspects of a situation that are positive or, at worst, neutral, you are training your brain to look for the positive, reducing emphasis on the negative.

• Savor Positive Moments: When something happens that makes you feel good, don’t move on too quickly through it, soak it in. Take the time to immerse yourself in the experience. Then afterward, reflect and revisit it, relive it in your mind and share it with others. This repetition will ingrain it and make the experience more readily available to you, further diminishing the impact of the negativity bias.

• Limit Exposure to Negative Stimuli: Ruminating on negative experiences is what evolution has wired your brain to do and replaying them is your amygdala’s attempt to try and avoid future pain, but that doesn’t mean you need to feed it. By minimizing your exposure to negative news, social media, and toxic environments and people, you give your nervous system a chance to rest, creating space for positive experiences to take root.

Ready to shift the balance?

Creating a balanced emotional state for yourself is a matter of noticing your biases, questioning their validity and shifting them. The change is both emotional and physical, so it takes time, consistency and patience. But with commitment, as well as learning to cherish and ingrain positive moments, noticeable changes in your internal thoughts and external responses will occur.

Life is full of experiences that deflate and empower us. By embracing both while learning to focus on the good, you can make peace with your past and move forward with greater resilience and joy.

Ready to Take Back Control and Shift Your Negativity Bias?

Download your free Negativity Bias Worksheet and start identifying own biases, questioning them, and begin practicing powerful tools like cognitive reframing and decatastrophizing to reduce anxiety, strengthen your emotional resilience, and open the door to a more joyful, empowered life.

Your past doesn’t have to define your future. When you recognize and reframe the patterns your brain has been unconsciously running, you reclaim your power—one thought at a time. Book a FREE introductory call and let’s explore what’s possible when your mindset works with you, not against you.